


To boldly go - Planet Pinto and beyond a.k.a. Chat Fic RP Bones/Chekov/Orion girl threesome of epic proportions

by amerasu1013 (amerasu_1013)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, F/M, M/M, Multi, Role-Playing Game, Threesome - F/M/M, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-21
Updated: 2010-09-22
Packaged: 2017-10-12 02:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/119643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amerasu_1013/pseuds/amerasu1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: The Enterprise discovers Planet Pinto. An away team beams down to investigate… very thoroughly. Mesmerized by THE PEEN, friendly natives and sacred alien rituals they discover almost too late that the inhabitants of Planet Pinto are not what they seem… And one crew member in particular finds himself… wery captiwated. And the good doctor approves, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Planet Peento - I mean Pinto

**Author's Note:**

> A short time ago I discovered the LJ community ontd_pinto. And it was awesome. Then I discovered its chat room, and it was even more awesome. Why? Because on the third time ever I joined Pinto Chat, the following happened…  
> It started out very innocently, talking about all kinds of stuff, AiA and ZQ's peen, mostly. But then! James T. Kirk and Cmdr. Spock appeared, and our innocent chat turned into Star Trek RP. Some of us got really into it. Scantily clad alien chicks, Orion girls, alien priestesses, sacred Rituals of Submission... James T. Kirk and Spock made off to Spock's quarters, and the rest of us (garden_hoe21, Anton and myself) got even more into it. We ended up in sickbay… and it was epic. I'm usually a humble girl, but the two others and myself were incredibly awesome in this!!! ;-)
> 
> Therefore, I proudly present you:  
> McCoy/Chekov/Orion girl cybersex Star Trek RP threesome chat fic!
> 
> Major hugs to all participants, especially garden_hoe21 and kaidoh_kitty/Anton, because you bbs rock! If anyone else recognizes themselves and wishes for credit, please tell me! Also, we are totally sorry to blockade the chat for more than three hours, especially to you, monkey! Okay, maybe we're not that sorry, because this chat was awesome! ;-)
> 
> Note: This is an edited version of the original chat, I removed a bunch of comments that didn't relate to the "story". Will be posted at my LJ, too, as soon as I stop being lazy and edit some more.  
> Original transcript of the chat is saved on my pc, if you want it, send me a message). Also, as you may have noticed already, English is not my native language.
> 
> Participants in the Chat were:  
> kaidoh_kitty a.k.a. Anton as:  
> Ensign Chekov  
> Ensign Pantsless  
> Pavel  
> garden_hoe21 as:  
> orion_hoe21 (Layla)  
> amerasu1013 a.k.a. Ze German as:  
> Scantily clad alien chick  
> Scantily clad alien dude  
> alien priestess  
> Dr. McCoy  
> adoorhasopened a.k.a. adoor (stayed behind on Planet Pinto/left before it got real steamy)  
> calico (stayed behind on Planet Pinto/left before it got real steamy)  
> Cmdr Spock (retired to his quarters with the Captain/got out before it got real steamy)  
> crickettekeeper (stayed behind on Planet Pinto/left before it got real steamy)  
> James T. Kirk (retired to his quarters with the Commander/got out before it got real steamy)  
> monkeyonthelam (who checked in a couple of times but didn't want to join the fun D:)  
> And a couple of others who came and left again…

** TO BOLDLY GO – PLANET PINTO AND BEYOND **

**   
**

Ze German wants Fuzzy Chest Hair **CAPTAIN ON BOARD**

James T. Kirk **Stardate 09202010** ****

Ze German wants Fuzzy Chest Hair ***stands at attention*** ****

James T. Kirk **My first officer and I have beamed into the possibly hostile environment of the Planet Pinto** ****

Cmdr Spock **Captain. I must insist that you let me go first. I find your insistence on beaming down to unknown planets...** ****

adoor **Spock, JSYK i am really looking forward to seeing your peen in AiA** ****

James T. Kirk **Dammit Spock...** **I'm... Captain** ****

 _(little intermission with squeeing about ZQ’s peen)_

James T. Kirk **so far the inhabitants seem… friendly** ****

Cmdr Spock * **Spock raises an eyebrow and scans the entity known as adoor with a tricorder.* "What is this peen of which you speak?"** ****

James T. Kirk **though obsessed with something called peen** ****

Ze German will probably play a bad guy **hay there strangers** ****

Ze German will probably play a bad guy **come over here, we have chocolate**

 _(intermission with more ZQ peen)_

Ze German will probably play a bad guy **and scantily clad alien chicks** ****

James T. Kirk **Alien Chicks…** **Where** ****

 _(and even more… in fact peen squeeing happens quite a bit during the next parts, but almost everyone soon succumbs to the thrill of RPing)_

James T. Kirk * **looks around*** ****

Cmdr Spock **oh dear, here we go again.** ****

Anton **hey-o** ****

crickettekeeper **Trufax, we do have Orion slave girls - but they are fair trade girls and we feed them well** ****

 _(Ze German will probably play a bad guy changes name to Scantily clad alien chick)_

Scantily clad alien **chick** **just follow me**

James T. Kirk **do they dance** ****

Anton ***follows*** ****

James T. Kirk **do they have objections to hair pieces** ****

 _(garden_hoe21 changes name to orion_hoe21)_

orion_hoe21 **hello boys** ****

crickettekeeper **They have been known to dance, but only when the music moves them** ****

James T. Kirk **Hello… James T. Kirk** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **nooo, *purr* they love a man in uniform** ****

James T. Kirk **it's my pleasure** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Hello Captain** ****

orion_hoe21 **oh Im sure it is** ****

orion_hoe21 **What are you boys doing on our planet?** ****

James T. Kirk **any where we can go and… Talk** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **I have a bed close by** ****

orion_hoe21 **our planet is very liberal. We can... talk here** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **I mean a room**

James T. Kirk **exploring…** ****

Scantily clad alien chick ***purrr*** ****

James T. Kirk **boldy… going** ****

Scantily clad alien chick ***PURRR*** ****

Anton **Exploring some caves and whatnot.** ****

crickettekeeper **CRICKETTEKEEPER DEMANDS TO KNOW... WHY THERE ARE *MEN* ON HER PLANET** ****

calico **what is Spock doing?** ****

Anton **Captain, watch out. It's a tribble.** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Hey Vulcan stranger, wanna join??** ****

James T. Kirk **Spock… stay away from those flowers** ****

James T. Kirk **they may contain** ****

 _(here we lost adoor)_

James T. Kirk **sex pollen** ****

Anton **Old Spice flowers? Mmmm** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **here Spock, smell this** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **(w) _(posts a bent rose)_** ** __**

James T. Kirk **is that a flower… or are you… just happy to see us** ****

orion_hoe21 **(r) _(posts a straight rose)_** ** __**

orion_hoe21 **mine is erect** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **I'm always happy to see such strapping men** ****

James T. Kirk **it certainly is…** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **(r) (r) _(straight roses again)_** ** __**

crickettekeeper **And has a thrush stamen** ****

James T. Kirk **I should take samples** ****

Anton **(w) _(bent rose)_** ****

James T. Kirk **for the sake of… science** ****

crickettekeeper **Did Cmdr Spock fall asleep?** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Ohh I know science** ****

crickettekeeper **For SCIENCE?** ****

orion_hoe21 **ooh, here on planet pinto we love science** ****

James T. Kirk **Spock?** ****

orion_hoe21 **we'll do anything in the pursuit of science** ****

Anton **Oh, reeeeaaaally?** ****

James T. Kirk **you ladies haven’t… made off with my first officer have you?** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **No?** ****

crickettekeeper **I don't even... what?** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **All here for you, bb** ****

orion_hoe21 **I haven't** ****

 _(Anton changes name to Ensign Chekov)_

James T. Kirk **Ensign, glad you could join the away team** ****

crickettekeeper **Ensign, do you know where Cmdr Spock is?** ****

calico **Spock was intrigued by the peen** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Hmmm fascinating** ****

James T. Kirk **we need to begin… the search… for…** ****

James T. Kirk **Spock** ****

crickettekeeper **Peen is Fascinating** ****

Ensign Chekov **Hawen't seen him, sir.** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **come search over here, in this dark corner** ****

Ensign Chekov **Didn't we already do that, Keptin?** ****

crickettekeeper **(r) _(straight rose)_** ** __**

James T. Kirk **we keep losing him** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **where noone can see us** ****

James T. Kirk **he's a six foot tall Vulcan** ****

orion_hoe21 **young man, would you like to go for a run and play some chess?** ****

James T. Kirk **it shouldn't be that hard to keep track of him** ****

James T. Kirk **probably in sickbay** ****

Ensign Chekov **I like running and chess!** ****

James T. Kirk **playing… Doctor** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Ohhh Doctor!** ****

Ensign Chekov **Tall, green and Vulcan** ****

orion_hoe21 **well come on then baby** ****

James T. Kirk **careful Chekov… we don't know their feminine wiles** ****

orion_hoe21 **we can play some Ghostface Killah in the background** ****

James T. Kirk **we may unable to resist** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **what? We don't have no wiles** ****

Ensign Chekov **Keptin, I think I know what I'm getting into.** ****

crickettekeeper **Green things should be easy to find on our planet... we normally favor purples and stripes** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **We are innocent and... virginal** ****

orion_hoe21 **(in my headcanon Chekov likes Ghostface Killah)** ****

James T. Kirk **and flannel according to the away team briefing** ****

James T. Kirk **and something called a… fug** ****

orion_hoe21 **(because of that restaurant fic)** ****

crickettekeeper **We wear hats and drink fanciful coffees** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **yesss and plaid** ****

orion_hoe21 ***runs after Chekov*** ****

James T. Kirk **this appears to be the perfect place for shore leave** ****

James T. Kirk **he's quick miss… I should know** ****

crickettekeeper **We thrive on dark chocolates and the Arts** ****

Ensign Chekov ***runs*** ****

Ensign Chekov **Dark arts and chocolate?** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Oh, do you need to relax, Captain? We can help with that** ****

orion_hoe21 ***giggles*** ****

Cmdr Spock ***Spock finishes his scan and runs up to the Captain, giving him Eyebrow Twitch #453 for walking away from him while he was otherwise occupied. *** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Hey stranger...** ****

crickettekeeper **Oh good, Spock's okay** ****

James T. Kirk **Spock… here you… are** ****

Ensign Chekov **I FOUND HIM, KEPTIN** ****

James T. Kirk **good job Ensign** ****

calico **did Spock scan the peen?** ****

orion_hoe21 ***takes Chekov's hand and runs into a cave*** ****

Ensign Chekov ***beams*** ****

Cmdr Spock **it took quite awhile to scan** ****

James T. Kirk **explain peen… to us** ****

Ensign Chekov ***follows*** ****

James T. Kirk **please** ****

Cmdr Spock **i am not used to such a... specimen** ****

crickettekeeper **Was it sufficiently... fascinating?** ****

calico **the peen is large** ****

orion_hoe21 ***loud rap music*** ****

orion_hoe21 ***giggling*** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **the peen is overwhelming** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **the peen is awe-inspiring** ****

James T. Kirk **I suspect Chekov may need to be rescued** ****

crickettekeeper **The Ensign will be fine** ****

orion_hoe21 * **giggle* *moan* *giggle*** ****

calico **what did you learn about the peen, Spock?** ****

Ensign Chekov ***dancing*** ****

James T. Kirk or **at least given a shot of vitamin b to keep up with her** ****

James T. Kirk **and how did he get a woman first** ****

Scantily clad alien chick **Oh, don't worry, she has lots of... supplies** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line866)crickettekeeper **Yes, Mr Spock, please tell us of your travels and experience with the Peen** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line867)Ensign Chekov ***mack daddy Chekov***

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line868)orion_hoe21 **on our planet we love curls** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line869)James T. Kirk ***strokes green wrap shirt*, I'm putting on weight aren't I?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line870)Cmdr Spock **Ensign! Be careful. You must not let it ... take you over. I found my very thorough study... fascinating. *Spock licks his lips completely unconsciously*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line871)Scantily clad alien chick **and it looks fabulous, Captain!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line872)orion_hoe21 ***rustling sound* *giggle*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line873)Scantily clad alien chick **Oh, Spock! *purrr*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line874)Ensign Chekov **Keptin, look out. Misser Spock wants to eat you!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line875)James T. Kirk **you like the green… wrap** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line876)Scantily clad alien chick **yesss** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line877)Cmdr Spock **to whom are you speaking, Captain?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line878)orion_hoe21 ***thump* *giggle* *moan*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line879)James T. Kirk **whomever is listening to me mr. Spock** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line880)Scantily clad alien chick ***purrrrr*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line881)James T. Kirk **and what is that on your chin** ****

 _(Scantily clad alien chick changes name to Scantily clad alien dude)_ _[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line882) _ __

Scantily clad alien dude **Oops** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line883)Ensign Chekov **Heyo!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line884)Ensign Chekov **IT'S A TRAP** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line885)Cmdr Spock **I find that this Planet Peento. Oh, excuse me. Planet Pinto is quite confusing.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line886)James T. Kirk **Oh my…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line888)James T. Kirk **but a Captain must be** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line889)James T. Kirk **flexible** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line890)Cmdr Spock **Spock's eyes widen** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line891)Scantily clad alien dude **Ohh I LIKE YOU!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line892)crickettekeeper **What the frak?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line893)Scantily clad alien dude ***shows bendy flexible ways*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line894)James T. Kirk **and is that a loin cloth or is it merely for decorative purposes** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line895)crickettekeeper **A little of both** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line896)orion_hoe21 ***moan* *giggle* *thump thump thump*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line897)Scantily clad alien dude **Oh, it hides a... treasure** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line898)crickettekeeper **On our planet, we wear what we like** ****

 _(Ensign Chekov changes name to Ensign Chekov/Admiral Ackbar)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line899)Ensign Chekov/Admiral Ackbar ***thump thump thump*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line900)Scantily clad alien dude ***gives Spock the eye, too*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line901)crickettekeeper **Again, mostly plaids and purples and hats** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line902)James T. Kirk **um… Spock, you seem… tense** ****

 _(Cmdr Spock changes name to Spock giving the hairy eyeball to anyone who looks at his Cptn.)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line903)Spock giving the hairy eyeball to anyone who looks at his Cptn. **I am intrigued, crickette** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line904)Spock giving the hairy eyeball to anyone who looks at his Cptn. **yes. quite tense.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line905)Scantily clad alien dude **Shall I rub your shoulders, Spock?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line906)calico **Spock, are you feeling jealous?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line907)James T. Kirk **perhaps I should attempt to give you a back rub, though you're very skilled at those** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line908)orion_hoe21 ***screaming* *unintelligible speech*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line909)Spock giving the hairy eyeball to anyone who looks at his Cptn. **Spock raises an eyebrow at the Scantily clad alien dude** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line910)James T. Kirk ***rubs Spock's shoulders*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line911)crickettekeeper **Poor Mr. Spock... Would you like one of our delicious fruit juices... Perhaps a delicate coffee?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line912)Scantily clad alien dude **WE HAVE LOTION** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line913)Ensign Chekov/ Admiral Ackbar ***very pleased with himself*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line914)Scantily clad alien dude **um.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line915)James T. Kirk **your people are quite… vocal** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line916)Scantily clad alien dude **Who is that weird fish guy?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line917)Scantily clad alien dude ***purr* I like him** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line918)orion_hoe21 ***giggle*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line919)Scantily clad alien dude ***purrrr at display of hotness*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line920)James T. Kirk **Spock it might be easier if you removed your tunic** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line921)crickettekeeper **Does Mr Spock purr?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line922)James T. Kirk **and undershirt** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line923)Scantily clad alien dude **yessss** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line924)Ensign Chekov/ Admiral Ackbar **and pants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line925)orion_hoe21 ***adds "Terran" to list*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line926)James T. Kirk **Ensign Chekov…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line927)crickettekeeper **Right, because pants are too binding** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line928)Scantily clad alien dude **I'll take them for you, Spock** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line929)calico **yeah pants have to go** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line930)crickettekeeper **They restrict artistic integrity** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line931)Ensign Chekov/ Admiral Ackbar **What's that supposed to mean, Hoe?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line933)orion_hoe21 " **Young male humanoid... very energetic and eager to please..."** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line934)James T. Kirk **well if it is your custom for us to go pantsless** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line935)James T. Kirk Captain Kirk ***doesn't want to stand on ceremony*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line936)Scantily clad alien dude **yes. it totally is** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line937)Scantily clad alien dude ***drops loincloth* see?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line938)Ensign Chekov/ Admiral Ackbar **Reporting for pantsless duty, Keptin.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line939)James T. Kirk **Oh…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line940)orion_hoe21 **"lithe and pale"** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line941)Ensign Chekov/Admiral Ackbar **GUH MY EYES** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line942)orion_hoe21 **"A++ would have another Terran"** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line943)crickettekeeper **We usually wear clothes to greet guests, but are quick to discard them once comfortable with new-found friends** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line944)James T. Kirk * **clears throat and hides behind Spock*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line945)calico ***waits for Spock to drop his pants*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line946)James T. Kirk **that's an impressive…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line947)James T. Kirk **display** ****

 _(Scantily clad alien dude changes name to nekkid alien dude)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line948)nekkid alien dude **why thank you. Dat Bulge doesn't look bad, either** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line949)James T. Kirk **thank you… glad to know we can express** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line950)crickettekeeper **I have a feeling having a pantsless Ensign is not unusual on The Enterprise** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line951)James T. Kirk **appreciation** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line952)nekkid alien dude ***gets dragged off by irate lover* brb bbies** ****

 _(Ensign Chekov changes name to Ensign Pantsless)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line953)Ensign Pantsless **It depends on the day** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line954)James T. Kirk **we have a hard time keeping pants on him** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line955)Ensign Pantsless **Goodbye, nekkid alien dude** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line956)crickettekeeper **Farewell Nekkid Alien Dude** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line957)James T. Kirk **good bye… perhaps we can boldy go** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line958)James T. Kirk **again** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line959)crickettekeeper **Why only boldly go once?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line960)orion_hoe21 **Young Terran, please know that you and your friends are welcome on our planet at any time** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line961)Ensign Pantsless **Hooray!** ****

 _(nekkid alien dude changes name to alien priestess)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line962)James T. Kirk **Alien Priestess?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line963)Ensign Pantsless **Keptin, I hawe established diplomatic relations with the natiwes** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line964)James T. Kirk **can you officiate marriages** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line965)James T. Kirk **in spades Ensign** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line966)James T. Kirk **and possibly produced…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line967)alien priestess **Welcome, explorers! Sorry, nekkid alien dude had to leave. Uh. for a ritual** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line968)James T. Kirk **the next generation** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line969)crickettekeeper **Rituals are sacred on Pinto** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line971)alien priestess **Why yes I can. Why do you ask, honored explore?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line972)James T. Kirk **I should probably beam back aboard the enterprise** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line973)James T. Kirk **and put on some pants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line974)Spock is absolutely not preening at having cptn rubbing him ***Spock wakes up suddenly* Forgive me, sir. I was entranced.... by the peen.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line975)orion_hoe21 **My Lady, *whispers to alien priestess*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line976)Ensign Pantsless **Where are my pants?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line977)alien priestess **NO! You have to stay for our mud-wrestling ritual. It is the way of our people!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line978)alien priestess **yes, hoe?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line979)James T. Kirk **am I an observer** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line980)Ensign Pantsless **Keptin, I think I lost my pants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line981)James T. Kirk **or a participants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line982)crickettekeeper **To leave now, we would rescind our offer of peace** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line983)James T. Kirk **not the first time Chekov** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line984)Ensign Pantsless **Partici-pants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line985)crickettekeeper **And place you on the Altar of Submission** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line986)orion_hoe21 ***whisper whisper whisper* The young lithe white one, *whisper whisper*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line987)alien priestess **any stranger has to participate. Choose your partner - and choose wisely** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line988)James T. Kirk **altar of submission** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line989)Ensign Pantsless **S-submission?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line990)James T. Kirk **… explain** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line991)Spock is absolutely not preening at having cptn rubbing him ***Spock tries to look like he knows what the hell everyone is talking about*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line992)alien priestess **yes, hoe... *whisper* okay. Go right ahead!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line993)Ensign Pantsless **I think they broke Misser Spock.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line994)James T. Kirk **being peenitized put you a little behind** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line995)Spock is a little confused. **forgive me sir** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line996)alien priestess **THE ALTAR OF SUBMISSION IS OUR MOST SACRED ARTEFACT** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line997)James T. Kirk ***grabs a little behind*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line998)alien priestess **it would be unwise to defile it** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line999)crickettekeeper **Altar of Submission is important to our people... The Sacred Peen will impale upon you as you are strapped to the altar** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/#line1000)Ensign Pantsless **Keptin, Mr. Spock's over there.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1001)Spock is a little confused. **I’m** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1002)Spock is a little confused. **pale** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1003)Spock is a little confused. **Sir?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1004)alien priestess **QUICK!!! BIND THEM!!! THE VULAN IS GETTING AWAY!!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1005)James T. Kirk **DAMMIT SPOCK** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1006)Ensign Pantsless ***runs away*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1007)orion_hoe21 ***binds Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1008)calico **DO IT DO IT DO IT** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1009)Ensign Pantsless **Oh fuck** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1010)James T. Kirk ***struggles sexily*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1011)alien priestess ***fierce warriors spring out of the shrubbery*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1012)Ensign Pantsless ***struggles like a manly Russian*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1013)alien priestess ***and bind everyone*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1014)crickettekeeper **I do love our shrubbery** ****

([](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1015)alien priestess **Ni!)** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1016)Spock is a lot turned on **. Spock struggles like a Vulcany Vulcan** ****

([](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1017)crickettekeeper **Ni!)** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1018)orion_hoe21 ***enjoys watching Chekov struggle*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1019)James T. Kirk *** you.. . .Fiends*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1020)Spock is a lot turned on. **((((NI!!!!!!!!))))** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1021)Ensign Pantsless **(WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI!!)** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1022)alien priestess **IT IS THE WAY OF OUR PEOPLE; DEAL WIT IT!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1024)crickettekeeper **It appears the pointy-eared one has accepted his fate** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1026)alien priestess **yesss** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1027)Spock **Captain!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1028)James T. Kirk **I will valiantly** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1029)crickettekeeper **Or maybe not** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1030)alien priestess **the Vulcan may begin** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1031)James T. Kirk **offer myself up** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1032)Spock ***Spock "struggles" some more*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1033)James T. Kirk **in Spock's place** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1034)Ensign Pantsless **Green lady let me gooooo** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1035)alien priestess **CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER!**

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1036)James T. Kirk **I'll take the… .peen** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1037)calico **whose peen?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1038)crickettekeeper **I say the pointy ear'd one shall be first upon the Altar of Submission... CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER OR SUFFER A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1039)alien priestess **your choice is wise.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1040)Spock **me me pick me** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1041)calico **pick Spock** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1042)orion_hoe21 **I'll be so sad if my new friend does not participate in our most sacred ritual** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1043)James T. Kirk **Spock…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1044)alien priestess **your choice is even more wise** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1045)orion_hoe21 ***wibbles at Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1046)James T. Kirk **don't…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1047)Spock **YES!!! (ahem) I mean, Captain? I ... I...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1048)James T. Kirk **You don't** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1049)alien priestess **hoe: go fetch the chair of submission, you may have your own ritual** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1050)James T. Kirk **have to** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1051)James T. Kirk **do this** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1052)alien priestess **yes he does** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1053)calico **he totes does** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1054)alien priestess **it is the way of our people** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1055)James T. Kirk **take me in his place** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1056)alien priestess **or no peace** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1057)orion_hoe21 **Can I use this Terran as my chair of submission?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1058)crickettekeeper **Warriors, atone the off-worlders in the sacred oil** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1059)Spock **I find your phrasing illogical. Captain, do you want to see me and this... peen?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1060)James T. Kirk **oil…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1061)alien priestess **WE SHALL TAKE BOTH OF YOU** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1062)Ensign Pantsless **Chairs of submission were inwented in russia** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1063)James T. Kirk **oh…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1064)James T. Kirk **my** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1065)James T. Kirk ***glistens like a golden god*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1066)alien priestess ***warriors do their job very thoroughly*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1067)James T. Kirk **is that a spear in your loincloth** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1068)James T. Kirk **or are you just happy to be here** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1069)crickettekeeper **You would like to use a Terran as your Chair of Submission, Orion?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1070)Spock ***is kind of body shy and is vaguely glistening but completely overshadowed by Kirk's gloriousness*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1071)alien priestess ***starts weird alien chant*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1072)James T. Kirk ***begins to thrash rhythmically*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1073)Ensign Pantsless **kinda wish I knew where my pants were** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1074)crickettekeeper **PREPARE THE YOUNG ONE FOR IMPALEMENT** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1075)James T. Kirk ***struggling sexily*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1076)alien priestess **alamahapeenalayaalamayapeenalaya** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1078)orion_hoe21 **our planet is beautiful, you will not need your textiles here** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1079)crickettekeeper **In other words, Take The Pants OFF** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1080)alien priestess **warriors: free the strangers from their unnecessary clothing!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1081)crickettekeeper **And also the communicators** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1082)James T. Kirk **damn** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1083)orion_hoe21 * **prepares the young one for impalement*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1084)alien priestess **oh right** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1085)Spock **(((((( alamahapeenalayaalamayapeenalaya hahahahahahahahahahaha omfg)))))** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1086)calico ***burns their pants*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1087)James T. Kirk **SPOCK STAY IN CHARACTER** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1088)James T. Kirk **you monsters** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1090)James T. Kirk **you've stripped his Vulcan logic** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1091)James T. Kirk **along with his pants** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1092)crickettekeeper **We tend to cause some to act OOC** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1093)Spock ***Spock bites his lip and struggles to reapply his Vulcan logic*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1095)crickettekeeper **Perhaps his Logic is in his pants?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1096)alien priestess **Quick! The sex pollen for the Vulcan!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1097)Spock **'s peen waves a little in the air from his Vulcany struggle not to laugh.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1098)alien priestess **before he regains control!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1099)James T. Kirk **NOT SEX POLLEN** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1100)James T. Kirk **I'm allergic** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1101)Spock **sex? pollen?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1102)crickettekeeper **Dammit** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1103)calico ***waves back at Spock's peen*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1104)orion_hoe21 ***gives Kirk MDMA instead*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1105)alien priestess **okay, cover the golden one's face, give the pollen to the Vulcan** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1106)James T. Kirk ***dances to techno*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1107)Ensign Pantsless ***needs brain bleach*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1109)James T. Kirk **sexily** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1110)alien priestess ***purr* we like you, strangers** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1111)Spock ***Spock inhales while looking like he doesn't want to inhale*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1112)James T. Kirk **Will the Enterprise not SAVE US** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1113)alien priestess **Prepare the altar of submission! fetch the golden chains!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1114)James T. Kirk **Scotty…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1115)Spock **is that... coffee? What is this LAMill?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1116)James T. Kirk **Sulu** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1117)Ensign Pantsless **SCOTTY BEAM US UP** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1118)James T. Kirk **Uhura…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1119)orion_hoe21 ***nibbles on Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1120)James T. Kirk **Riley** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1121)Spock ***makes sniffy noises*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1122)James T. Kirk **oh… is that french roast?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1123)Ensign Pantsless **rick-- guhuhhhh** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1124)alien priestess **alas! the weird alien artifact hinders your attempts at communicating!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1125)James T. Kirk ***must stay strong and sexy*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1126)orion_hoe21 **Terrans are so sensitive** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1127)Spock **Captain.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1128)alien priestess ***warriors bring golden chains*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1129)James T. Kirk ***must not succumb*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1130)James T. Kirk **SPOCK** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1131)Ensign Pantsless ***tries to regain composure and outsexy the Keptin*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1132)Spock **Capt...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1133)orion_hoe21 ***makes note in journal*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1135)Spock ***Spock inches closer. *** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1137)James T. Kirk ***are we sexying off Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1138)alien priestess **hoe: how's it hoing with your new... friend?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1139)James T. Kirk **because I can take you** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1140)orion_hoe21 **May I keep this one?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1141)alien priestess **oh, you will take it** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1142)alien priestess **yes, you may.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1143)Ensign Pantsless **Keptin I can beat you three ways to Sunday** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1144)orion_hoe21 **\o/ *squee*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1145)James T. Kirk ***tries to remain calm*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1146)alien priestess **but first: strap the strangers to the altar!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1147)orion_hoe21 ***begins binding strangers*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1148)Spock Spock ***reaches out and strokes one finger over Kirk's cheekbone*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1149)Spock **Jim...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1150)James T. Kirk **Spock…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1151)Ensign Pantsless ***gasps at the PDA*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1152)James T. Kirk ***nuzzles Spock's fingers*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1153)alien priestess **Hmmm. It seems this Vulcan is rather fond of the golden one...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1154)Ensign Pantsless ***truggles in binds*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1155)James T. Kirk **kissing them gently** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1156)James T. Kirk **if only I were… free** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1157)Ensign Pantsless **Pssssst, Hoe *whisperwhisper*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1158)alien priestess **THIS CALLS FOR THE SACRED RITUAL OF DOUBLE PENERTATION!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1159)orion_hoe21 **Oh Terran, don't worry. Nothing will hurt too badly** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1160)Spock ***Spock stiffens and there's an almost audible SPROINNNNGGGG sound. *** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1162)alien priestess **what?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1163)alien priestess **what was that noise?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1164)James T. Kirk **Oh my…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1165)James T. Kirk **Vulcan peen** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1166)alien priestess **ohhhh** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1167)James T. Kirk **wowzer** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1168)Ensign Pantsless **(He likes Kirk's butt and he cannot like. When Kirk walks in with the sound thing in his face he gets SPRUNG)** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1169)calico **oh yes Vulcan peeeeeeeen** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1170)alien priestess **the golden one understand the peen!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1171)orion_hoe21 **What was that Chekov? You secretly want to stay on my planet forever?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1172)Ensign Pantsless ***with the not so itty bitty waist** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1173)Ensign Pantsless **Nooo I saiiiiid *whispershisper*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1174)James T. Kirk **it's a tumescent jade staff of glory** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1175)James T. Kirk **I worship the VULCAN PEEN** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1176)alien priestess **THE GOLDEN ONE UNDERSTANDS THE SACRED PEEN!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1177)Ensign Pantsless **Wulcan peen was inwented in Russia** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1178)James T. Kirk ***and Kirk's got it going on*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1179)orion_hoe21 ***pretends to understand the Terran*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1180)Spock ***Spock raises an eyebrow and smirks* "Captain. I learned a term here on Planet Pinto. It is... dickmatized. Does this mean anything to you?"** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1181)alien priestess **WELCOME TO OUR INNER CIRCLE!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1182)James T. Kirk **consider me dickmatized** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1183)alien priestess ***creeps closer and watches intently*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1184)James T. Kirk **James T. Kirk.** **Peen worshipper** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1185)orion_hoe21 ***nibbles on Chekov's hipbone*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1187)Ensign Pantsless **Can I just wor-- sgujfhhhuuu** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1188)James T. Kirk **I think Chekov wants to remain** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1189)Spock **I would say, yes Captain. It does appear so** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1190)alien priestess **Captain, We would totally hug you for entering our sacred religion, if not for hose chains...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1191)Ensign Pantsless **No! Sawe me!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1192)alien priestess **hoe: shush him** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1193)James T. Kirk **shall we beam aboard the Enterprise** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1194)James T. Kirk **and discuss…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1195)James T. Kirk **the events of the mission** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1196)Ensign Pantsless **KEPTIN DON'T LEAVE ME** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1197)Spock **I find that most logical, sir** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1198)orion_hoe21 ***gags Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1199)Ensign Pantsless ***manly tears*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1200)James T. Kirk **Chekov…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1201)alien priestess **wait! First you have to complete the ritual of man-loving!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1202)James T. Kirk **you want us to…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1203)James T. Kirk **here…** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1204)Ensign Pantsless **That's what I was trying to tell Hoe** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1205)alien priestess **manly man-loving in a LOT of different positions!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1206)Spock **here?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1207)James T. **Kirk** **in front of all you**

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1208)James T. Kirk **with the lights on** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1209)Spock **:O** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1210)alien priestess **yes. *dignified* it is the way of our people** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1211)Ensign Pantsless **no moar bo-ner** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1212)alien priestess ***snicker*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1213)calico **oh my** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1214)Spock **well, Captain.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1215)Spock **there is a saying** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1216)Spock **when in Rome...** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1217)alien priestess **commence the ritual!!!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1218)orion_hoe21 **I think all of the strangers should participate in this ritual** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1219)Ensign Pantsless **fuck like gay men?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1220)James T. Kirk **pratice the way of the Greeks?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1221)orion_hoe21 * **ungags Chekov*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1222)orion_hoe21 **GO GO GO** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1223)alien priestess **COMMENCE AT ONCE!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1224)Ensign Pantsless **I CAN BREEEEATHEEEE** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1225)alien priestess ***greedy face*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1226)Spock ***Spock brings his arms down and breaks his bindings, then frees Captain Kirk and the Ensign*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1228)James T. Kirk **ENTERPRISE** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1229)Ensign Pantsless **My hero!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1230)alien priestess **Nooooooooo** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1231)James T. Kirk **three to beam up!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1232)alien priestess **noooooooooooooooo** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1233)calico **no no no** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1234)alien priestess **stop them!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1235)Ensign Pantsless ***SPARKLY NOISES*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1236)alien priestess **warriors! stop them!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1237)Spock ***transporter sound*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1238)alien priestess **noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1239)calico ***wibbles* come back** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1240)alien priestess **khannnnnnnnnnnnnt they stop them!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1241)Spock ***meanwhile... back on the Enterprise... *** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1242)orion_hoe21 * **eyes well up with tears*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1243)alien priestess **Dammit. So close.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1244)James T. Kirk **your quarters or mine** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1245)James T. Kirk **mr. Spock** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1246)orion_hoe21 **my Terran!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1247)Spock **Yours, sir.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1248)alien priestess **DAMMIT!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1249)James T. Kirk **you're right** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1250)James T. Kirk **bigger bed** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1251)Ensign Pantsless ***beams down comm chanel to orion*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1252)Spock **also I believe the restraints are in your footlocker** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1253)alien priestess ***sobs*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1254)James T. Kirk **and the Vulcan safe manacles** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1255)Spock **and the lube that you're not allergic to.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1256)alien priestess **I can only imagine what they are doing right now up there *sob*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1257)James T. Kirk **Let's go boldy Spock** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1258)Ensign Pantsless ***wanders the enterprise looking for pants and yeoman rand*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1259)Spock **The good doctor was so kind to create it, it seems such a shame not to use it.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1260)Spock ***Spock pops his Captain on DAT ASS*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1261)James T. Kirk **Chekov… I have pants in my quarters** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1262)calico : **O** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1263)Spock ***Spock raises an eyebrow*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1264)Ensign Pantsless **But do you have quarters in your pants?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1265)Spock **interesting** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1266)alien priestess **Okay, guys: next time we try the "we're innocent farmers without weapons threatened by evil space Nazis" thing. Maybe this will work.** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1267)James T. Kirk **you'll have to put your hands in the pockets to find out** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1268)Ensign Pantsless **/hands in pockets** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1269)James T. Kirk **Space Nazis** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1270)Spock ***Spock's lips twitch*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1271)Ensign Pantsless **Keptin... is that a phaser in your pocket?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1272)James T. Kirk **just happy to see you and Mr. Spock Ensign** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1273)Ensign Pantsless **What does that have to do-- OH GOD WHY** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1274)Ensign Pantsless ***withdraws hand*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1275)James T. Kirk **maybe you should go see Doctor McCoy** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1276)James T. Kirk **Ensign** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1277)Ensign Pantsless **I like dis idea** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1278)Ensign Pantsless ***saunters pantslessly to sick bay*** ****

 _(alien priestess changes name to Dr. McCoy)_

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1279)Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT JIM!!!** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1280)James T. Kirk **thank me later Bones** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1281)Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT JI - huh. *stares at Ensign Pantsless*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1282)Ensign Pantsless **Doctor, have you seen my pants?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1283)Spock ***Spock grabs Jim's wrist and drags him to his quarters*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1284)Dr. McCoy **Uh. what?** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1285)James T. Kirk ***follows his Vulcan*** ****

[](http://chatlogs.meebo.com/room/pintochat/logs/today/page2/#line1286)Ensign Pantsless **I can't find my pants...** ****

James T. Kirk **GOOD NIGHT ENTERPRISE**

 

 

 _Continued in chapter 2 - Sexy Sickbay_ **  
**

 


	2. Sexy Sickbay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, by now Anton, garden_hoe21 and myself were pratically alone in this. A couple of others checked in briefly, but soon left again. We three were aloooone... which obviously meant: hot awesome threesome!

Dr. McCoy **Ensign, what the hell happened on that planet???**

orion_hoe21 * **cuddles with Terran's pants***

Ensign Pantsless **Uh... Well**

orion_hoe21 **Mmm... smells like Terran...**

Spock **the Captain will be busy for precisely three point two four hours. Followed by cuddling and a nap**

Dr. McCoy **Dammit Spock!**

James T. Kirk ***Scotty accidently beams orion onto the Enterprise***

James T. Kirk **because she's got Chekov's pants**

Dr. McCoy Ensign: **tell me! I'm a doctor, not a mindreader**

 _(here snoewhite enters, wonders what is going on, and leaves again soon, as does calico)_

orion_hoe21 **Oh! Some black magic has transported me to another world!**

Ensign Pantsless **Well there was sex**

Ensign Pantsless **IT'S HER**

Ensign Pantsless **My Orion!!**

Dr. McCoy ***wavey hypo* what do you mean sex!!**

orion_hoe21 **My Terran!**

Dr. McCoy **and WHO IS THAT**

Dr. McCoy **HOW DID YOU TWO GET INTO MY SICKBAY**

Ensign Pantsless **Uh... Doctor you should know these things. When a woman and a man...**

Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT THIS IS A SICKBAY NOT A TRAIN STATION**

orion_hoe21 **Ooh, more Terrans! Tell me, do you also like it when people do this? *nibbles McCoy***

orion_hoe21 **The other Terran liked it**

Dr. McCoy **dammit let go you random alien chick**

Ensign Pantsless ***lifts McCoy's shirt and nibbles his abs***

Dr. McCoy **I'm a doctor, not a popsicle**

Dr. McCoy **ahhh JIM!**

orion_hoe21 ***gasp* Are you going to show me how Terrans make love?**

Dr. McCoy ***tries to reach hypo***

Ensign Pantsless ***takes hypo***

Dr. McCoy **CHEKOV! HELP ME!**

Ensign Pantsless **UHHHHHH...**

orion_hoe21 ***tearing up* It's so beautiful...**

Ensign Pantsless ***looks between the Orion and McCoy***

Dr. McCoy ***Wriggles sexily***

orion_hoe21 ***scribbles notes***

Ensign Pantsless ***BLINDLY HYPOS ONE OF THEM***

Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT JIM WHAT DID YOU DO ON THAT PLANET**

Dr. McCoy ***sags***

Dr. McCoy ***unconscious***

Ensign Pantsless ***opens eyes***

Ensign Pantsless **...Oops**

James T. Kirk **brought you present**

 _(and here the Captain and the Commander left, probably to err discuss the mission. Or something. And we were three… and the “real fun” started!)_

Dr. McCoy ***lies there prettily***

Ensign Pantsless **... *looks around***

Ensign Pantsless ***pokes McCoy***

Dr. McCoy ***groans sexily***

Ensign Pantsless ***strokes McCoy's hair***

orion_hoe21 **This is a very unusual sex act**

Ensign Pantsless **Shhhhhh-- I don't wanna wake him**

Dr. McCoy ***flutters eyelashes***

Ensign Pantsless **ORION, CLOSE YOUR EYES**

Ensign Pantsless ***kisses McCoy***

orion_hoe21 **oh, Terrans make love with your mouths**

orion_hoe21 **How fascinating *scribbling***

Dr. McCoy ***groans and moves sluggishly***

Ensign Pantsless **Doctor... Wake up**

Ensign Pantsless ***slaps lightly***

Dr. McCoy **Wha..?**

Dr. McCoy **Damn, those things hurt**

Dr. McCoy **Wait. DID YOU HYPO ME???**

Ensign Pantsless **N-no!!**

orion_hoe21 **What is "hypo" ? Is it sex?**

Ensign Pantsless **Shhhhhh, Orion**

Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT I'M A DOCTOR NOT A PIN-CUSHION!**

Ensign Pantsless **But you're a sexy pin-cushion**

Dr. McCoy **AND WHO IS THAT? WHERE IS EVERYONE?**

Ensign Pantsless **...THE ORION IS MAKING ME SAY THINGS**

Dr. McCoy **... what?**

orion_hoe21 **Oh wait a minute... you're like me! The big Terran is like a sex priestess, right?**

orion_hoe21 **That's what all the beds and potions and restraints are for!**

Dr. McCoy **WAIT WHAT?**

orion_hoe21 **Of course, and the younger Terran is offering his services to earn the right to rain as his apprentice**

orion_hoe21 **It all makes sense now!**

Ensign Pantsless **Y-yeah, that's it**

Dr. McCoy **DAMMIT JIM *rants about teenage Captains and their stupid tendencies to pick up random alien chicks***

Ensign Pantsless **DCOTOR, I WANT TO BE A NURSE**

Dr. McCoy **... *gapes* what**

Dr. McCoy ***draws up to his full height***

Dr. McCoy ***deflates***

Dr. McCoy **Hmmm**

orion_hoe21 **Wow, you are magnificent**

Dr. McCoy ***unholy glint in his eyes***

Ensign Pantsless ***mini Chekov draws up to his full height***

Dr. McCoy **So, Ensign... you'd like to play doctor with me?**

Ensign Pantsless **Y-yes, sir.**

orion_hoe21 **What is Doc - tor?**

Dr. McCoy **Good boy.**

Dr. McCoy **We can start right now.**

Ensign Pantsless ***whispers what a doctor is but makes it sound way sexier than it is***

Dr. McCoy **Hey, alien chick!**

Dr. McCoy **You can be our first... patient**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

orion_hoe21 **I can be very patient! I'll wait...**

Ensign Pantsless **must not fap... to... evil... McCoy...**

Dr. McCoy **What was that, Ensign? *purring voice***

Ensign Pantsless **I-I said nothing**

Dr. McCoy **And you - alien - what's your name?**

Ensign Pantsless ***pulls down shirt***

orion_hoe21 **Layla**

Dr. McCoy ***pats bed* Layla, sweetheart...**

Dr. McCoy **you hop on here**

Dr. McCoy **and our sweet little Ensign will show you exactly how human doctors do their job**

Dr. McCoy **very**

orion_hoe21 ***Scribbles in notebook* "The older Terran has invited me to participate in a healing ritual. I believe I am the first of our people to experience this."**

Dr. McCoy **thoroughly**

Dr. McCoy **Won't you, Pasha?**

Ensign Pantsless ***nods vigirously***

Dr. McCoy **Good boy**

Ensign Pantsless ***blushes***

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

Ensign Pantsless U **m... *grabs Layla boobs***

orion_hoe21 **yay!**

Dr. McCoy ***rummages through drawer***

Ensign Pantsless **Two boobs, Doctor.**

Dr. McCoy **NO! HANDS OFF!**

Dr. McCoy ***slaps Ensign***

Dr. McCoy **We do this gently**

Ensign Pantsless **Unf**

orion_hoe21 " **I believe that if the younger Terran lives up to the older one's expectations he will be granted apprenticeship and taught more powerful rituals"**

Ensign Pantsless **I'll be a good boy Captain**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks some more***

Ensign Pantsless **I mean doctor**

Dr. McCoy **CAPTAIN????**

Dr. McCoy ***glares***

Ensign Pantsless **We're playing so you get to be the Keptin**

Dr. McCoy ***stares Ensign down***

Ensign Pantsless ***little Ensign goes up***

Dr. McCoy **Hmmm. You better not be thinking about Jim, Ensign.**

orion_hoe21 **"These Terrans have a primitive beauty to them, but can be quite rough with one another, sometimes possessive."**

Dr. McCoy ***gets real close to Ensign***

Ensign Pantsless **Keptin belongs to Spock, Doctor**

Ensign Pantsless ***blushes***

Dr. McCoy ***glares some more* Green-blooded hobgoblin... *mumble mumble***

Dr. McCoy **Right. Where were we?**

orion_hoe21 **"At some intervals these white Terrans will obtain a rose colour"**

 _(Here Dr. McCoy briefly left because of internet connection fail, but comes back right away)_

Ensign Pantsless ***clears throat* Aaaaanyway, we were... *grabs McCoy's pecs***

Dr. McCoy ***returns from a brief interlude in the mirror verse and is slightly disoriented***

Dr. McCoy **woah!**

Dr. McCoy ***stumbles***

Ensign Pantsless ***catches***

Dr. McCoy ***swoons***

Dr. McCoy ***a bit***

Ensign Pantsless ***exudes 20th century sex pheromones***

Dr. McCoy ***sniffs***

orion_hoe21 **"Terrans appear to have access to powerful black magic"**

Dr. McCoy ***breathes in deep***

orion_hoe21 * **sniff* What... what is that?**

Dr. McCoy **Wha...? What is that smell? Ensign Chekov? Where are your pants?**

Dr. McCoy ***tries to stand up***

orion_hoe21 **Is that a magical potion?**

Ensign Pantsless **~Classic Old Spice smell fills the room~**

Dr. McCoy **and who is this alien girl in my sickbay?**

Ensign Pantsless **I left my pants off planet, Doctor**

Dr. McCoy **What happened?**

Dr. McCoy ***holds head***

orion_hoe21 **"The space that is used for ritual healing sex is known as Sick Bay"**

Dr. McCoy ***tries to free himself from Chekov's arms half-heartedly***

Ensign Pantsless ***holds the doctor tighter***

Dr. McCoy ***stares at Chekov***

Ensign Pantsless **I think you need to lie down... Maybe in my quarters/**

Dr. McCoy ***stares at alien girl***

Dr. McCoy **Lie down...?**

orion_hoe21 **"I believe the Doc Tor has imbued himself with a mild illness so as to better evaluate the skills of his would-be apprentice"**

Dr. McCoy **No, I need to check this woman, she looks all green flushed and sweaty!**

Ensign Pantsless ***sadface***

Dr. McCoy ***struggles sexily***

Ensign Pantsless **Doctor, you're struggling too close to my pantslessness**

Dr. McCoy ***blushes***

Dr. McCoy ***stops struggling***

Ensign Pantsless ***drops***

Dr. McCoy ***smiles***

Dr. McCoy ***struggles some more***

Ensign Pantsless **Doctor did you hit you head?**

orion_hoe21 **"As the Terrans build magical energy they exude a powerful pheromone and their hue changes from pink to red"**

Dr. McCoy **Ensign Chekov, I must say, for such a little boy you seem surprisingly big in certain areas**

Ensign Pantsless **Wh-- AH**

Ensign Pantsless ***handcrotch***

 _(here monkeyonthelam entered, was confused)_

orion_hoe21 **"The younger Terran has utilized his black magic to conjure another Terran"**

Ensign Pantsless **~magical~**

orion_hoe21 **Hello.**

Dr. McCoy ***southern drawl* my my, I like the attention here..**

Ensign Pantsless **~swoons~**

Dr. McCoy ***presses closer and checks Ensign's temperature***

Dr. McCoy ***down there***

orion_hoe21 **"The new Terran appears to be unaffected by the powerful pheromone secreted by the young Terran"**

Ensign Pantsless ***redredredreddddddd***

Dr. McCoy **YOU! RANDOM STRANGER!**

 _(monkey left again)_

Dr. McCoy **Dammit**

Dr. McCoy ***looks back at Ensign***

Dr. McCoy ***looks at orion***

Dr. McCoy **Hmmm**

Ensign Pantsless ***headtilt***

Dr. McCoy ***adores the cute***

Ensign Pantsless ***blushyface***

Dr. McCoy **Ensign, Lady, I am a doctor**

Ensign Pantsless **Not a...?**

Dr. McCoy ***raises voice* and as such it is my duty**

Ensign Pantsless ***chinhands***

Dr. McCoy **to perform health checks** **on every member of an away team after a mission**

Dr. McCoy **and of every stranger beamed aboard this ship**

orion_hoe21 **Of course, Doc Tor**

Ensign Pantsless **Oh yes herr doktor**

Dr. McCoy **Thank you. *smiles charmingly at orion with a hint of southern gentleman***

Dr. McCoy **THEREFORE!**

Ensign Pantsless P **rostate exams?**

Dr. McCoy **Both of you get on this bed here right now so I may perform various exams...**

Ensign Pantsless ***zoomz to bed where he makes a cutely failing sexy pose***

Dr. McCoy **Thorough exams**

Dr. McCoy **deep exams**

orion_hoe21 ***lays down***

Dr. McCoy **intimate exams**

Ensign Pantsless ***moans***

Dr. McCoy **good girl.**

orion_hoe21 " **I believe Doc Tor is testing the younger Terran's knowledge of anatomy"**

Dr. McCoy **Ensign? Hop on here. *pats bed next to orion, and maybe pats orion, too***

Ensign Pantsless ***hops***

Ensign Pantsless ***eyes Orion cautiously***

Dr. McCoy **Good boy. *purring voice***

Ensign Pantsless **~unf~**

Dr. McCoy **Soo, Ensign...**

Ensign Pantsless **Yessir?**

Dr. McCoy **I seem to remember you wanting to play doctor**

Ensign Pantsless **Y-yes.**

Dr. McCoy **Why don't you show me if you can tell the differences between this lovely young lady's anatomy and your own...**

Dr. McCoy ***strokes orions arm***

Ensign Pantsless ***looks down ... looks to the side, at Orion***

Dr. McCoy **would you like that, sweetheart?**

Ensign Pantsless ***points to vageen***

Dr. McCoy **NO! *slaps Ensign's finger***

Ensign Pantsless ***winces***

Dr. McCoy **Gently**

Ensign Pantsless **Doctor, I don't have one of th-- Oh.**

Ensign Pantsless ***gently points at vageen***

Dr. McCoy **start at a more... innocent area**

Ensign Pantsless ***boobgrab***

orion_hoe21 ***giggle***

Dr. McCoy **NO! *growl***

Ensign Pantsless **melts a little at the Doctor's growl**

Dr. McCoy **I said gently! Do you want to make me angry, boy?**

Ensign Pantsless **Kinda I MEAN NO**

Ensign Pantsless ***gently boob grab***

Dr. McCoy **hmm. *looks at orion***

Ensign Pantsless ***looks at McCoy***

Ensign Pantsless ***grabs his pecs**

Dr. McCoy ***steps back and glares***

Dr. McCoy D **id I say you could touch me?**

Ensign Pantsless ***frowns***

Ensign Pantsless ***so turned on right now***

Dr. McCoy **For that, you don't get to touch anything**

orion_hoe21 **"The two Terrans appear to be raising sexual energy for the ritual"**

Ensign Pantsless **DDDDDDDDD:**

Dr. McCoy ***eyes orion's notebook***

Ensign Pantsless ***cockblocked***

Dr. McCoy **So. you'll be a good boy? Or do I need to get the restraints?**

Dr. McCoy ***takes orion's notebook***

Ensign Pantsless ***can't decide which is better***

Dr. McCoy **You don't need that**

Dr. McCoy **you get to explore Terran sexuality first hand**

orion_hoe21 **But...**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks at her, smirks at Chekov***

orion_hoe21 **Ok**

Ensign Pantsless *** melts***

Dr. McCoy **Go ahead, touch him. He won't move. Will you, boy?**

Ensign Pantsless ***shakes head wigorously***

Dr. McCoy good boy. ***pats Chekov's ass***

Ensign Pantsless ***unintelligible blather***

orion_hoe21 ***bites Chekov's arm***

orion_hoe21 **I like how Terran skin marks so easily**

Dr. McCoy ***growls a little***

Dr. McCoy **Gently. Don't hurt him**

Dr. McCoy **... much**

Ensign Pantsless ***incoherent***

orion_hoe21 **Oh... did that hurt?**

Dr. McCoy **I think he's okay**

Dr. McCoy **are you?**

Ensign Pantsless **It ... felt good**

Dr. McCoy **See?**

orion_hoe21 ***bites chest***

Ensign Pantsless **guhhhhh**

Dr. McCoy ***moves around for a better look***

orion_hoe21 ***sucks at bite mark* Is this helping your ritual?**

Dr. McCoy **Oh yess...**

Ensign Pantsless **My ritual is really hard right now**

Dr. McCoy ***clears throat***

orion_hoe21 ***giggles***

Dr. McCoy **yes it helps.**

orion_hoe21 **Why do Terrans taste so salty?**

Dr. McCoy * **smacks Ensign***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans**

Dr. McCoy **That sweetheart, is caused by the contents of our sweat - (insert sexy medical explanation, I can't think of it right now lol)**

orion_hoe21 ***licks Chekov's nipple***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, I see.**

Dr. McCoy **yes, he likes that... don't you, boy?**

Ensign Pantsless ***eyes roll in pleasure***

Dr. McCoy ***moves closer***

Dr. McCoy **Answer the lady, boy**

Ensign Pantsless **ngh**

Dr. McCoy **I guess that means "yes" *smirks***

orion_hoe21 ***rakes fingernails down Chekov's chest***

Ensign Pantsless ***shivers***

orion_hoe21 **I hope this doesn't hurt**

Ensign Pantsless **it tickles**

Dr. McCoy ***approves* It doesn't, don't worry. Look at him - all flushed and pretty!**

Dr. McCoy **So, Layla, sweetheart...**

Dr. McCoy **tell me: how much do you know about Terran anatomy?**

Dr. McCoy ***strokes her and Chekov in turn***

Ensign Pantsless ***wibbles***

orion_hoe21 ***purr***

orion_hoe21 **well, I don't think it's too different from what we have on our planet**

Dr. McCoy ***breathing kinda hard at all the pretty***

orion_hoe21 **I thought you didn't secrete pheromones, but this Terran does**

orion_hoe21 **I know you come in unusual colours from pink to a very dark brown**

Ensign Pantsless ***looks to see what she's talking about**

Dr. McCoy **Yes, he does... It's called "teenager" Do you know what a prostate is?**

orion_hoe21 **I'm not familiar with the term**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

Dr. McCoy ***a bit evilly***

Ensign Pantsless ***gulps**

Dr. McCoy I **bet Pasha here is familiar with the term. Aren't you, boy?**

Dr. McCoy **Intimately familiar?**

Ensign Pantsless ***gulps***

Ensign Pantsless **I-I know of them**

Dr. McCoy ***rummages through drawer***

Dr. McCoy ***takes the chance to very unsubtly adjust his pants***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans***

Dr. McCoy ***finds a tube***

Dr. McCoy **There y’are**

Dr. McCoy **Tell me boy...**

Dr. McCoy ***leans real close***

Dr. McCoy **... how familiar are you with your prostate?**

Ensign Pantsless ***gulps* Not familiar enough?**

Dr. McCoy **We can fix that.**

orion_hoe21 ***watching intently***

Dr. McCoy ***trails one hand along Ensigns left leg, motions for orion to do the same with the other one***

Dr. McCoy ***grasps slender ankle***

Ensign Pantsless ***shudders**

orion_hoe21 ***caresses Terran like a tropical priest***

Dr. McCoy ***spreads Ensign's legs***

Dr. McCoy **good girl. good boy.**

Ensign Pantsless ***opens willingly***

Dr. McCoy **There, you see, sweetheart?**

orion_hoe21 ***tickles inner thigh experimentally***

Dr. McCoy * **doesn't let go of that ankle, nods approval at orion***

orion_hoe21 **WHOA wait, hold the phone**

orion_hoe21 **what is this pouch here at the back?**

orion_hoe21 **behind his wand**

Ensign Pantsless ***face reddens***

Dr. McCoy ***uses other hand to squirt a drop of lube onto Ensigns stomach***

orion_hoe21 ***squeezes it***

Dr. McCoy **What?**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, this...**

orion_hoe21 **Orions don't have this**

Ensign Pantsless **nggghhh**

Dr. McCoy **This, sweetheart, are his testicles.**

Dr. McCoy **And, as you see, they are really sensitive...**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, I see... on the outside?**

orion_hoe21 **How fascinating!**

Dr. McCoy **Yes, it is...**

orion_hoe21 ***explores them***

Ensign Pantsless **I... *pants* feel like a science experiment...**

Dr. McCoy **What's even more fascinating is what's behind them...**

orion_hoe21 **I love science**

Dr. McCoy **Shh, Pasha.**

Dr. McCoy **I do too.**

Ensign Pantsless ***flutters eyelashes***

Dr. McCoy ***strokes Pasha's thigh***

Dr. McCoy ***strokes orion's neck***

orion_hoe21 ***purr***

Dr. McCoy **see this? this is called the perineum. It's really sensitive, too...**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks at Ensign***

Ensign Pantsless **guh *tries to pull away***

orion_hoe21 **Yes... *rubbing it***

orion_hoe21 **Because beyond it lies The Star**

Dr. McCoy **wait, take a little of this *pours her some lube***

Dr. McCoy **The Star?**

orion_hoe21 **Thank you**

orion_hoe21 **You know... the jewel**

Ensign Pantsless **...Star?**

Dr. McCoy **That's a wonderful way to describe it...**

Ensign Pantsless **...Oh god**

Dr. McCoy * **smirks some more***

orion_hoe21 **In here *rubbing pad of finger against Chekov's opening***

Ensign Pantsless **That feels w-weird**

Dr. McCoy **and that is exactly what the prostate is, sweetheart**

orion_hoe21 **Do Terrans not touch each other this way?**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, they do**

orion_hoe21 **OHHHH, I see.**

Dr. McCoy **a lot**

Dr. McCoy **But this one here is quite young...**

orion_hoe21 **Then why does the young one find it strange?**

Dr. McCoy **he's not very experienced**

Dr. McCoy **... yet**

Ensign Pantsless ***turns beet red***

orion_hoe21 **I understand**

orion_hoe21 ***pets Chekov's hair***

Dr. McCoy ***pats Ensign’s thigh soothingly***

Ensign Pantsless ***tries to get friction against anything**

Dr. McCoy **Don't worry, Pasha, we'll take care of you**

Ensign Pantsless ***moans***

Dr. McCoy ***holds him down***

Dr. McCoy **No moving.**

Dr. McCoy **We've barely started, boy**

orion_hoe21 **May I enter?**

Ensign Pantsless ***eyes widen* E-eh?**

Dr. McCoy **Let's ask him. May she enter, boy?**

Ensign Pantsless **Wha-- whe-- how?**

Dr. McCoy ***strokes his thigh***

Dr. McCoy **with her fingers.**

Dr. McCoy **well, one at first**

Dr. McCoy **but later... more**

Ensign Pantsless **Please... just do something...**

orion_hoe21 ***gazes lovingly at her Terran***

Dr. McCoy ***flutters fingers along Chekov's wand***

Ensign Pantsless **ahh-**

Dr. McCoy **answer the question, boy**

Ensign Pantsless . **..I don't think I can last much longer**

Ensign Pantsless **Y-yes, Layla**

orion_hoe21 ***pushing fingertip inside* Have you ever been entered before?**

Ensign Pantsless **...*looks at the doctor**

Dr. McCoy **Yes he has... but never quite in a sexual way**

Dr. McCoy **... on his side, anyway *smirks***

orion_hoe21 **I... do not understand**

Ensign Pantsless ***eyes widen**

orion_hoe21 ***pushes to next knuckle***

Ensign Pantsless **Doctor what's that supposed to me-Ahhh**

Dr. McCoy **See, we Terrans need to have prostate exams at regular intervals.**

Dr. McCoy **just to make sure everything's... all right down there...**

orion_hoe21 **Yes, of course *nodding***

Ensign Pantsless **I thought you did it different last time...**

Dr. McCoy **Well, sweetheart, you clearly know what you're doing there...**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

Dr. McCoy **maybe I should keep you as a nurse**

Ensign Pantsless ***huge smile***

orion_hoe21 **What is that?**

Dr. McCoy ***ignores Chekov except for a smirk***

orion_hoe21 ***sliding the rest of the way in***

Ensign Pantsless **A nurs-- mgnhmn**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, my personal assistant... doing all kinds of exams... like this one**

Dr. McCoy ***grin***

orion_hoe21 **That sounds very rewarding!**

Dr. McCoy **It is...**

Dr. McCoy ***intercepts Chekov's hands and holds them against the table***

Dr. McCoy **(because they might have been heading towards his magical wand)**

orion_hoe21 **A-ha, here it is *presses into the "Prostate"***

orion_hoe21 **As far as Orion standards, it feels quite healthy**

Ensign Pantsless **(he wants to cast spells)**

Ensign Pantsless ***loud moans***

Dr. McCoy **Ah, you found it...**

Dr. McCoy **good girl.**

Ensign Pantsless * **struggles against Bones’ grasp**

orion_hoe21 ***grin***

Dr. McCoy **Now, let’s see if he can take more**

Dr. McCoy ***nods towards lube pool on Chekov's stomach***

Dr. McCoy ***also presses his neither regions against the table***

orion_hoe21 ***takes more lubricant***

orion_hoe21 **Um... how much can I...**

Dr. McCoy **can you what, sweetheart?**

orion_hoe21 **Someone his age on my planet would have much more experience with this type of stimulation**

orion_hoe21 **I do not wish to harm the Terran**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, you won't, just go slow, he can take it**

Dr. McCoy **can't you, Pasha?**

orion_hoe21 * **soothes Terran by licking his wand gently***

Ensign Pantsless **Y-yeah**

Ensign Pantsless z **sdkjfbvshdjkmhvn**

orion_hoe21 **Is that Standard?**

Dr. McCoy ***grasps Chekov's wrists in one hand and strokes the other down his chest***

Dr. McCoy * **smirks* yes. It means he likes it...**

orion_hoe21 **I am not familiar with zsdkjfbvshdjkmhvn**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, I see**

Dr. McCoy ***tweaks nipple* don't you?**

orion_hoe21 ***licks again, pushing two fingers in***

Ensign Pantsless ***pants Y-yesss**

Dr. McCoy **Good boy.**

Ensign Pantsless **Oh god ngh**

Dr. McCoy * **strokes nipple soothingly***

Dr. McCoy ***growls***

Ensign Pantsless ***bites lip***

Dr. McCoy ***bites lip too***

orion_hoe21 **Oh... have you reached your Crisis, Terran?**

orion_hoe21 **There is a fluid coming from your wand**

Dr. McCoy ***wraps hand tightly around Chekov's wand base* No, not yet**

orion_hoe21 **Is it normal for Terrans to secrete this?**

Dr. McCoy **That's precome, the wave before the flood**

Dr. McCoy **It's normal**

orion_hoe21 ***tastes it***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, how fascinating**

Dr. McCoy ***shudders with eyes glazed over***

Dr. McCoy ***at the display***

Ensign Pantsless ***stares and drools***

orion_hoe21 **Doc Tor...**

Dr. McCoy **Yes, sweetheart?**

orion_hoe21 **May I observe your wand for comparison?**

Dr. McCoy **Call me Leonard**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

orion_hoe21 **Leonard**

Dr. McCoy **Thought you'd never ask**

Dr. McCoy ***lets go of Chekov's hands***

Dr. McCoy **Don't move, boy**

Dr. McCoy **Or I'll make her stop**

Dr. McCoy ***starts taking clothes off***

Ensign Pantsless ***licks lips***

Dr. McCoy ***throws them away uncaringly***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, how magnificent... your colouring is so different**

Ensign Pantsless ***tries to inch closer to touch McCoy**

Dr. McCoy ***moves back* What did I say?**

Ensign Pantsless ***whimpers***

Dr. McCoy ***firm stare***

orion_hoe21 **Shall I restrain the young Terran?**

Ensign Pantsless **that'snottheonlythingthat'sfirm *stares at McCoy's wand***

Dr. McCoy **Yes, sweetheart, please do that**

orion_hoe21 ***restrains his hands gently so as not to hurt him***

Dr. McCoy ***stands there with his legs apart, hands at his sides, proudly presenting... everything***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans***

orion_hoe21 **...how beautiful**

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

orion_hoe21 **May I?**

Dr. McCoy ***steps closer* you may**

Ensign Pantsless ***growls***

orion_hoe21 ***grasps wand***

orion_hoe21 **It looks different to the younger Terran's**

Dr. McCoy ***lifts his eyebrow at Chekov* what was tha - *moans***

Dr. McCoy ***loudly***

orion_hoe21 **What is this skin?**

orion_hoe21 ***plays with it***

Ensign Pantsless ***too turned on to be angry**

Dr. McCoy **Y-yes, it does**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, and your gonadal organs are on the outside too**

Dr. McCoy ***tries not to thrust***

Dr. McCoy **That's, ah, a foreskin, uh, some Terrans have it, others have it removed...**

orion_hoe21 **Why?**

Dr. McCoy **Uh, it, oh, for uh ... reasons...**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, that explains the tiny scar on the other Terran's wand**

orion_hoe21 ***licks it***

Dr. McCoy **... reasons...**

Ensign Pantsless **fgdfhvbgh**

Dr. McCoy ***moans***

Dr. McCoy * **composes self and pulls back a little***

Dr. McCoy ***tries to, anyway***

orion_hoe21 ***tasting Leonard* It tastes different**

Ensign Pantsless ***growls***

Dr. McCoy **Uuuuhhh**

Dr. McCoy **S-stop**

orion_hoe21 ***disappointed* Oh**

Dr. McCoy ***shuddering breath***

orion_hoe21 **Was I not...**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, no sweetheart...**

Ensign Pantsless ***grins smugly***

Dr. McCoy **you were very... uh...**

orion_hoe21 ***looks up hopefully***

Dr. McCoy **intense, but I don't want this to be over to fast**

orion_hoe21 **Wow... Terrans truly are sensitive**

Dr. McCoy ***composes self and tries a smirk/glare that wavers a little***

orion_hoe21 **It's fun!**

Dr. McCoy **and this boy here seems to be somewhat jealous and lonely...**

orion_hoe21 **I would never leave my Terran lonely**

orion_hoe21 ***grasps his wand firmly***

Dr. McCoy **I know, sweetheart. Which is why we're gonna focus allll our attention on him now...**

Ensign Pantsless ***wins***

Dr. McCoy ***smirk works better now***

Dr. McCoy ***without the stimulation***

Dr. McCoy **But you know what, sweetheart?**

orion_hoe21 **What?**

Ensign Pantsless ***damn it***

Dr. McCoy **I think he can take more now.**

orion_hoe21 * **stroking the younger Terran's skin***

orion_hoe21 **Is that so?**

Ensign Pantsless ***eyes widen**

Dr. McCoy ***moves to take Chekov's hands again***

Ensign Pantsless ***lets his hands be taken***

Dr. McCoy **yes. Can't you, boy?**

Dr. McCoy ***grasps them firmly***

Ensign Pantsless **Y-you bet**

Dr. McCoy **Good boy... *presses them in reward***

Dr. McCoy ***smirks at orion***

orion_hoe21 ***licks the former bite mark***

Dr. McCoy ***growl***

Dr. McCoy **Nice**

Ensign Pantsless ***doesn't know which he likes more: licking or the McCoy noises***

Dr. McCoy **Go on, sweetheart, touch him**

orion_hoe21 ***playing with circumcision scar***

orion_hoe21 **I am so fascinated by this**

Ensign Pantsless ***tries not to laugh because it kinda tickles***

orion_hoe21 ***kissing the tip of the wand***

Dr. McCoy ***growls in approval***

Ensign Pantsless ***rolls head back* Mmnn**

Dr. McCoy **So tell me, sweetheart... down on that planet... did you taste him?**

orion_hoe21 ***takes him into throat without warning***

Dr. McCoy **Yesss just like this..**

orion_hoe21 **I did not... he stimulated me with his fingers and then we had congress**

orion_hoe21 **Then we played some speed chess**

Ensign Pantsless ***too incoherent to do anything but moan***

Dr. McCoy ***thrusts against table* Don't stop!!**

orion_hoe21 ***takes him back into mouth***

Dr. McCoy **Good girl...**

Dr. McCoy **Use your fingers on his testicles... and further back...**

orion_hoe21 ***does so***

orion_hoe21 ***gently fondling the strange sac***

orion_hoe21 **Why is it pulling tight against his body like that?**

Dr. McCoy **Ah stop!!**

Ensign Pantsless **Because I'm...**

Dr. McCoy **Pull off**

orion_hoe21 ***backs away five paces***

orion_hoe21 **What, what did I do??**

Dr. McCoy ***clenches fingers around wand's base***

orion_hoe21 **Oh goddess**

orion_hoe21 **I'm so sorry, what happened?**

Dr. McCoy **Nothing, sweetheart, sorry... he was about to reach his peak, and we don't want that... yet**

Ensign Pantsless ***humps Bones' hand***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, I see**

Dr. McCoy ***clenches tighter, almost painful***

Dr. McCoy ***to stop it***

orion_hoe21 ***walks back up to exam table***

Dr. McCoy **Do you want to have congress with him again? Hm? While I hold him down?**

orion_hoe21 **May I?**

Dr. McCoy **Or do you want something else? Tell us...**

orion_hoe21 **I would love to have congress again**

Dr. McCoy **Pasha here is listening...**

Ensign Pantsless ***winces***

Dr. McCoy ***lets go of wand base***

orion_hoe21 **But... I haven't been able to do anything for you Leonard**

Dr. McCoy **Aren't you?**

Dr. McCoy **I like the way you say my name...**

Ensign Pantsless ***growls***

orion_hoe21 ***grin***

Dr. McCoy **and don't worry, I I'm having tons of fun here...**

orion_hoe21 **Oh... alright**

Dr. McCoy **So tell me... both of you...**

Dr. McCoy **what do you want?**

orion_hoe21 **What would you like Terran?**

Dr. McCoy ***strokes Pasha's flanks, strokes Layla's flank***

Dr. McCoy ***smirks***

Ensign Pantsless **I-I want to call the Doctor by his name, t-too...**

Dr. McCoy **Oh, my sweet boy... I'd love that…**

Ensign Pantsless **L-leonard... When can I touch you? *moans***

Dr. McCoy **Soon boy, soon. But first, let's hear what the lady wants...**

Ensign Pantsless ***siiigh***

orion_hoe21 ***already climbing on top of him***

Ensign Pantsless **I think I know**

Dr. McCoy ***moans at display***

orion_hoe21 **May I interlock with him?**

Dr. McCoy **Oh wait, we forgot something...**

Dr. McCoy **Hold on a minute**

Ensign Pantsless **FFFFUUUUU--**

Dr. McCoy ***throws stuff out of cabinets***

Dr. McCoy **THERE!**

Dr. McCoy ***throws a bunch of condoms onto the table***

Dr. McCoy **He needs to wear one of those**

Ensign Pantsless ***grabs one and slips it on***

Dr. McCoy **Oh-kay our boy is eager...**

Dr. McCoy **Before you ask: they are to prevent pregnancies. Now you may interlock....**

Dr. McCoy **Interlock HARD**

Dr. McCoy ***grabs himself***

Ensign Pantsless ***interlocks***

orion_hoe21 * **slides down onto Chekov***

Dr. McCoy **Yessss**

Ensign Pantsless ***humpity hump hump***

orion_hoe21 ***rocking slowly* You are beautiful**

Ensign Pantsless ***manly* You're not so bad yourself baby *goes faster***

Dr. McCoy **harder**

Dr. McCoy **do it harder**

Ensign Pantsless ***harder***

Dr. McCoy ***gets an idea***

orion_hoe21 ***bouncing on Chekov's wand***

Dr. McCoy ***smirks at Chekov***

orion_hoe21 ***grabs his hair***

Dr. McCoy ***grabs the lube, moves behind orion***

Ensign Pantsless * **moans at the image above him***

Dr. McCoy ***squirts some onto his fingers***

orion_hoe21 **Ohh...**

Dr. McCoy ***puts one hand on orion's chest***

Ensign Pantsless **nnnghhh Leonard... *harder faster***

Dr. McCoy ***trails the other along Chekov's perineum***

Dr. McCoy ***teases around his secret place***

Dr. McCoy ***shoves two fingers in***

Ensign Pantsless **ahh-ahhhh**

Dr. McCoy ***squeezes orion's breast***

orion_hoe21 **Mmm, Leonard**

Dr. McCoy ***twists fingers, searching***

Ensign Pantsless ***licks at her nipple***

Dr. McCoy ***FOUND IT***

Dr. McCoy ***presses hard against jewel***

Dr. McCoy ***twists orion's nipple***

orion_hoe21 **Ohh, you Terrans are amazing**

Dr. McCoy ***moves even closer***

orion_hoe21 **Ohh, so beautiful**

Ensign Pantsless **NGHH ahh *toes curl***

Dr. McCoy ***pulls out, puts three fingers in***

Dr. McCoy ***twists and scissors them***

orion_hoe21 **Ah, my goddess, yes, take his jewel**

Dr. McCoy ***removes hand from orion's breast***

Dr. McCoy ***puts on condom one-handedly because he's awesome like that***

Ensign Pantsless **Damn i--it ahhh leonard *frantically pushes into Layla***

Dr. McCoy ***scissors fingers some more***

orion_hoe21 **Mmm, yeah, that's it Terran**

Dr. McCoy ***deems Chekov ready***

Dr. McCoy ***pulls fingers out***

Dr. McCoy ***presses close***

orion_hoe21 **Oh my goddess I love research**

Dr. McCoy ***positions his own wand***

orion_hoe21 **Mmm, Leonard, your skin feels lovely against my back**

Ensign Pantsless **fuck me, Leonard!!!**

Dr. McCoy ***mouths at orion's shoudler***

Dr. McCoy **You want it, boy?**

orion_hoe21 **Mm yes, I love how Terrans use their mouths**

Dr. McCoy **You can have it**

orion_hoe21 ***twists Chekov's nipple hard***

Dr. McCoy ***shoves in and bites at Orion's shoulder***

orion_hoe21 **Mmm, yeah, harder**

Dr. McCoy ***wraps one hand around orion's chest and clamps the other on Chekov's hip***

Dr. McCoy ***holds them tight and IMMOBILE***

Dr. McCoy ***stops them from moving***

Ensign Pantsless **fffffuuu-**

Dr. McCoy **You want it?**

Ensign Pantsless **Give it to me**

Dr. McCoy **Hm? You want me to fuck you?**

Dr. McCoy B **eg me, both of you**

Dr. McCoy **beg for it**

Ensign Pantsless **fuck me fuck me fuck meeeeeeeee**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, by the goddess, enter him Leonard**

Ensign Pantsless ***moans* Leeooonnaaard... *bats eyelashes***

orion_hoe21 **Please, he wants it so badly**

Dr. McCoy ***grins***

Dr. McCoy **Well, one should always do what a lady asks**

Dr. McCoy ***shoves in HARD***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans loudly**

Ensign Pantsless **it's h-huge *pants***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, you make such beautiful sounds**

Dr. McCoy ***pulls out almost all the way***

Dr. McCoy ***shoves back in***

Dr. McCoy ***sets a punishing pace***

Dr. McCoy * **trails his hand down along orion's chest***

Dr. McCoy ***further down***

Dr. McCoy ***and down***

Dr. McCoy ***reaches between her and Pasha***

Ensign Pantsless ***bites lip and tries to stifle his whimpers***

Dr. McCoy ***looks for her clit**

Dr. McCoy **(and he totally knows where orions have theirs)**

Dr. McCoy ***presses hard, shoves in hard***

Dr. McCoy ***growls and bites at orion’s neck***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, goddess, yes**

orion_hoe21 **My energy is rising**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, it's coming quickly**

Dr. McCoy ***shoves in as deep as he can get, again and again, swirls thumb and fingers***

orion_hoe21 **Oh, oh, oh, yeah, goddess**

orion_hoe21 **Oh, goddess, I**

Ensign Pantsless **oh god leonard... ahhh ahhhhhhh**

Dr. McCoy ***fingers find where they are joined, slip in next to Chekov's wand***

orion_hoe21 ***screams and squirts all over Chekov***

Ensign Pantsless **I think I'm gonaaahhhHHH**

Dr. McCoy ***growls***

Dr. McCoy ***shoves in even deeper***

Ensign Pantsless **Leonard... Can I... nghghhgghhhhh**

Dr. McCoy ***howls at the ceiling***

Dr. McCoy **COME BOY!**

Ensign Pantsless ***comes!!!**

Dr. McCoy ***roars his completion***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans* leonard you're an animal**

orion_hoe21 ***panting***

Dr. McCoy ***growls and shivers***

orion_hoe21 ***grinning* Wow**

Ensign Pantsless ***pulls out***

Dr. McCoy ***slumps over orion's back***

orion_hoe21 **This was... such a privilege**

Dr. McCoy ***presses a kiss there***

orion_hoe21 ***slumps onto Chekov's chest***

Dr. McCoy ***pulls out***

orion_hoe21 **Thank you so much for allowing me to participate in your ritual**

Ensign Pantsless ***cuddles with Layla***

Dr. McCoy ***takes condom off and throws it away***

Ensign Pantsless **The pleasure... is all ours**

Dr. McCoy ***sees the two of them***

orion_hoe21 **I've learned so much**

Dr. McCoy ***smiles a bit***

Ensign Pantsless **Leooonard c'mere**

Dr. McCoy ***gets back into doctor mode, checks them over real quick***

Dr. McCoy ***everything okay, satisfied***

Dr. McCoy ***steps back, scratches his head, suddenly shy***

Ensign Pantsless ***frowns***

Dr. McCoy **Uh. I'll just leave you two to it, um, I should probably go check on Jim or something**

Dr. McCoy ***smiles awkwardly***

Ensign Pantsless ***pushes Layla and stands up* Leonard...**

orion_hoe21 **May I have my notebook?**

Dr. McCoy **So, uh, thanks for...**

orion_hoe21 ***begins scribbling***

Ensign Pantsless ***walks up to Bones and gives him a hug***

orion_hoe21 **"Took part in Terran initiation ritual. Two Terrans and I raised one another's energy and brought one another to crisis"**

Dr. McCoy **So I'll just...**

Dr. McCoy **Uh. Okay.**

Dr. McCoy ***arms flail a bit***

Ensign Pantsless ***hugs tighter* Thanks you, leonard**

orion_hoe21 **"I appear to have been accepted by their kind. Male Terran gonadal organs lie on the outside of their body, between their wand and their entrance. I an unsure what the purpose of this is."**

Dr. McCoy ***gives Chekov awkward pat on the back* sure, uh, no problem. *blushes***

Ensign Pantsless ***bright smile**

orion_hoe21 **"The older Terran has a sheath of skin over his wand that he says all Terran males are norn with. This explains the small scar on the younger Terran's wand"**

Dr. McCoy ***smiles tentitavely back***

Dr. McCoy ***looks at orion, quick furtive glances***

Dr. McCoy ***tentitavely rests a hand on Chekov’s back***

orion_hoe21 **"I believe that after this ritual the younger Terran will have Come of Age and will be allowed to take part in adult ritual ceremonies, and may begin his training as a practitioner of healing"**

Ensign Pantsless **vsighs happily***

Dr. McCoy **My pleasure. *smiles a bit more sincere now, maybe a bit sad***

Ensign Pantsless **Are you okay, Leonard?**

Dr. McCoy ***steps back* Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Perfect, even...**

Dr. McCoy **I'll just... go. Right.**

Dr. McCoy ***clears throat***

Dr. McCoy ***turns and starts walking away***

Ensign Pantsless * **grabs his wrist**

Dr. McCoy * **startles***

Ensign Pantsless **Stay...**

Dr. McCoy **What? I mean... no, I'm sure you two... just... um. Congratulations?**

Dr. McCoy **She seems like a very nice. Um. Lady**

Ensign Pantsless **...What?**

Dr. McCoy ***blushes***

Dr. McCoy **You know. the two of you.**

Ensign Pantsless **The two of us...what?**

orion_hoe21 **"The two male Terrans have replaced their textiles, perhaps in order to visit an inhospitable terrain"**

Dr. McCoy **Um. Together? I mean, I'll just um go and you two, um, have fun. Or something.**

Ensign Pantsless **What, no!**

Dr. McCoy ***pulls pants up and blushes fiercely***

orion_hoe21 **"They appear to be having a conversation of some importance."**

Ensign Pantsless ***tugs on his arm again* Leonard... It's not like that!**

Dr. McCoy * **won't look him in the eye***

orion_hoe21 **"I am unable to observe it from my position."**

Dr. McCoy **Pasha, don't worry, I enjoyed it very much**

Ensign Pantsless **Look at me... *tries to lift up his face***

Dr. McCoy **but I can't intrude any longer, so thanks and... well, I'm glad you're happy**

Dr. McCoy ***tries to leave again***

Ensign Pantsless **What are you?! Leonard... Get back here. *tugs him down***

orion_hoe21 ***stretching out muscles***

Ensign Pantsless **Do you think she's my wife or something!?**

Dr. McCoy **No! What? I mean...**

Ensign Pantsless **I don't like her like that... Leonard... i**

 _(Dr. McCoy changes name to Leonard)_

Leonard ***fidgets, tries to pull away***

Leonard **No, it's okay, I mean**

Leonard **she's beautiful and I'm just**

Ensign **Pantsless** ***pulls him toward him and gives him a quick kiss***

Leonard ***freezes***

Leonard ***stares***

Ensign Pantsless **Now what were you saying?**

Leonard ***sighs***

Leonard **Um. I...** **Does that mean... nevermind.**

Ensign Pantsless **Hmmmm?**

Leonard ***looks a bit hopeful***

Ensign Pantsless **Does this mean what? *rubs hands across his chest**

Leonard ***gasps***

Leonard **So... you're not... together?**

Ensign Pantsless **What? No!**

Leonard ***shivers***

Ensign Pantsless **Leonard... I only have eyes for one person.**

Leonard **Oh! Okay... I'll just**

Leonard ***tries to pull away again***

Ensign Pantsless ***pulls in to kiss again, longer this time'**

Leonard ***freezes, shocked, then eyelashes flutter closed and kisses back***

orion_hoe21 ***cracking her back***

Leonard ***wraps big arms around Chekov and deepens the kiss***

Ensign Pantsless ***moans happily***

Leonard ***DEVOURS Chekov***

Ensign Pantsless ***is devoured***

Leonard ***pulls back, breathing heavily***

orion_hoe21 ***wanders off to observe more Terrans***

Leonard ***stares deep into Chekov’s eyes***

Ensign Pantsless **Leonard... I**

Ensign Pantsless ***stares back***

Leonard **You what, Pasha?**

Leonard ***runs finger over Pasha's lip***

Ensign Pantsless ***shakes off finger and digs face into Bones' chest**

Leonard **Hm?**

Leonard ***holds him tight and buries nose in his hair***

Ensign Pantsless ***muffled* Ireallyreallyreallyreallylikeyou**

Leonard ***smiles widely* You what? I didn't get that *mischievous glint in eyes***

Ensign Pantsless ***pulls back* I said...**

Ensign Pantsless ***blushes***

 _(monkey returns, sees we’re still RPing, leaves again after a while – sorry bb! Lol)_

Leonard ***strokes curls, smiles***

Ensign Pantsless **Ilikeyouwerywerywerymuch**

orion_hoe21 ***wanders back into sickbay***

Leonard **Oh, Pavel... *smiles widely***

Leonard **I like you very much, too.**

Ensign Pantsless ***blushes***

Leonard ***blushes too, notices and scowls a bit***

 _(Ensign Pantless changes name to Pavel)_

Pavel ***giggles and kisses his nose***

Leonard **(because he's a doctor, dammit, not a 14 year old girl)**

Leonard ***swats at Pasha***

Leonard **Brat**

Leonard ***scowls and smiles at the same time***

Pavel **But you love me anyway *leans against him***

Leonard ***grumbles* Hm.**

Leonard **Yes I do.**

Leonard ***straightens suddenly***

Pavel ***happy noises into Leonard's chest***

Leonard **DAMMIT WE FORGOT TO LOCK SICKBAY IN PRIVACY MODE ANYBODY COULD HAVE WALKED IN HERE DURING**

Leonard **Oh GOD I'M A DOCTOR NOT AN EXHIBITIONIST**

Leonard ***jumps off bed***

Pavel **I think eweryone else was wery busy... Doing things.**

Pavel ***sits up***

Leonard **AND YOU DON'T THINK I FORGOT THAT YOU JUST CAME BACK FROM A MISSION**

Leonard **AND YOU STILL NEED THAT EXAM**

Pavel **ffffffuuuu--**

Leonard **AND YOU MISSY ORION GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT** **YOU HAVEN'T BEEN CLEARED TO BE ABOARD THIS SHIP YET**

Pavel ***sighs and shakes head* 'at least he was sweet for a while'**

Leonard **SO YOU BOTH GET ON THESE BEDS RIGHT THIS INSTANT**

orion_hoe21 ***hops eagerly onto bed***

Pavel **No more sex *whiiiines***

Leonard **BECAUSE I'M A DOCTOR DAMMIT I DON'T MAKE HOUSECALLS**

Leonard ***deflates at Chekov's look***

Leonard ***grumbles***

Pavel **Okay... If we have to. *winks***

Leonard **Oh, don't you worry, I'll make a houscall to you later, for a more private exam**

Leonard ***takes out various hypos***

Pavel ***tries to nap***

Leonard **BUT DON'T THINK YOU TWO GET OFF THAT EASILY**

Pavel **erf**

Leonard **I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING AND YOU SKIPPED A LOT OF LUNCHES BUT NOT ON MY WATCH**

Leonard **BECAUSE YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YOU HEAR ME BOY**

Pavel ***covers ears with pillow***

Leonard **AND YOU MISSY CLEARLY NEED TO EAT MORE TOO**

Leonard **DAMMIT I'M A DOCTOR NOT A BABYSITTER...**

Leonard ***goes off into a rant of epic proportions***

Leonard ***while he fusses and checks them***

Pavel ***giggles and finds it cute***

Leonard ***and sneaks in a few quick gropes***

Leonard ***and blushes at both of them***

Leonard ***and it's AWESOME*!!!**

Pavel ~ **~AWESOME~~**

Leonard **THE END**

 

 

 **THE END!!!**


End file.
